FIRE and Housing FOMO: 10 Reasons I’m Still Renting While others around me Buy
Everyone’s dreamhouse looks different—what’s it like for you? Beach in Cape Town, South Africa. Photo by Taryn Elliott on Pexels.
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Disclaimers: I’m not a financial adviser, but I’ve been pursuing Financial Independence for 7 years and writing about it for the last 3—sharing real-world strategies that help make steady, tangible progress. This post is for informational purposes only; please consult a qualified adviser for personalized advice.
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How to Avoid Housing FOMO and Stay on Track to Financial Independence
Watching friends and family buy homes can spark powerful doubts when you’re renting and pursuing Financial Independence. In this post I share the numbers, lifestyle trade-offs, and ten practical tactics that help me resist the pressure to “buy because everyone else is buying”—so you can stay focused on freedom and your own FI timeline.
Facing Housing FOMO in My Late-30s FIRE Journey
In my late thirties, on a six-year path to Financial Independence, I find myself surrounded by friends, colleagues, and neighbours purchasing their first homes. Some of them are settling into city flats, while others are heading out for the leafy outskirts. At weekend gatherings, their talk of mortgages and dream renovations sometimes trigger a quiet sense of FOMO—fear of missing out—that is increasingly hard to ignore.
Both my parents and in-laws, who grew up believing homeownership is an important milestone of life and the ultimate badge of adulthood, sometimes (gently) question whether we’re considering to buy. While I understand my friend’s and family’s perspective, it creates for me an emotional tug between optimizing for early Financial Independence and retirement (FIRE) and the human urge to follow my peers.
I think this tension is further sharpened by uncertainty—I’m in the midst of a career change and exploring new ways to work that provide a greater sense of satisfaction and work-life balance. Buying a home at this point would certainly be a major financial commitment just as my professional life is in flux—perhaps not the best idea. And yet, when everyone else seems to be going down that path, it’s really difficult to stay the course and remember why we chose this different path.
In today’s post I want to share the discipline and the competing arguments that help me stay the course—the thought process, the financial logic, and the mindset shifts to keep house-buying FOMO at bay—so major decisions support long-term Financial Independence and lifestyle goals, rather than short-term peer pressure.
Perhaps you dream of an English cottage by the sea? Polperro, Looe, UK. Photo by Martina Jorden on Unsplash.
Rent vs Buy: Using the 5% Rule (Germany Example)
I use the well-known 5% rule for renting vs buying a house as a quick benchmark. It helps to avoid apples-to-oranges comparisons by considering certain home ownership costs that you don’t have when you rent—property taxes (the rule assumes 1% per year), house maintenance costs (1%), and the opportunity cost from the capital you could otherwise invest (3%). Although this 5% rule can be tailored to the tax realities of individual locations, it serves as a good starting point.
Here’s an example of how to use it. We pay roughly €2,000 a month (€24,000 annually) for our four-room city flat. According to the 5% rule, a comparable purchase for this flat would be about €480,000 (€24,000/0.05). According to this simple rule of thumb, if flats were being sold for €300,000 in our area, it would be financially wise to buy, whereas if a comparable flat were priced at €600,000 it would be better to rent from a purely financial standpoint.
Here is the thing: we regularly see comparable flats to ours on the market for over €900,000. Under these circumstances and according to the benchmarking rule, renting is not “throwing away money”; it is by far the more sensible decision if we choose to stay in our neighbourhood. The “comparable rent” for this property price would be €3,750 per month—which is incredibly steep—nearly twice what we pay.
Given those prices, it’s natural to wonder what alternatives might look like.
Perhaps you dream of restoring a chateau in the French countryside? Dives-sur-Mer, France. Photo by Baptiste Pilot on Unsplash.
City vs Countryside: Would Moving Outside the City Delay or Speed Up FI?
But what about moving elsewhere? We probably wouldn’t want to move to a worse neighbourhood just for the sake of buying, but what about somewhere outside the city or perhaps somewhere even more rural? In a previous post about a “dream farmhouse”, I estimated that buying could delay reaching Financial Independence by four to five years.
This is not too much if that is really your dream. But the point is being clear-eyed that buying still sets you back financially compared to renting. These decisions aren’t just about extra money; they also affect how long you need to work—whether full-time or part-time—and how much time you spend with your kids, travel, and other life experiences.
City life carries its own blend of pros and cons. On the plus side, we can cycle from here to rivers and lakes, avoid car ownership, and live a relatively green and active lifestyle. There are tons of activities and cultural events around us. For anyone comparing renting vs buying in Germany, this greener, car-free lifestyle is a financial advantage.
Yet the benefits are not all one-way. Air pollution and the subtle stress of city life can offset some of those health benefits, and there is also the well-researched quiet fatigue that comes from background noise and hurried interactions.
In relation to housing, living in the city you normally lack the private outdoor space of your own. Owning a house might create a feeling of permanence and personal space that is tricky to match with renting a flat. Whenever we travel, the contrast between our urban area and the open spaces elsewhere makes us wonder what life might be like beyond the city limits.
Perhaps you dream of a stone-house retreat on a lake? Rifugio Lago Nambino, Madonna di Campiglio, Italy. Photo by Vincentiu Solomon on Unsplash.
Temptation of Rural Living: Germany’s Countryside and Danish Villas
Every so often the countryside calls. Travelling recently in Denmark and northern Germany, I noticed charming villas and farmhouses selling for a fraction of what similar spaces would cost in our region—whether a flat in the city or a house in the outskirts. These rural properties highlight the classic city vs countryside living dilemma many FIRE seekers face.
As we covered in detail in a previous post, in Denmark you can find €300,000 seaside houses with land in dreamy environments and tightly-knit communities. It’s easy to picture ourselves living a slower pace by the sea with our kids growing up outside and close to nature.
The rural upsides feel very real to me: a slower, less rushed rhythm, stronger neighbourly ties, and children learning hands-on skills—gardening, building, observing the seasons. Such a childhood could build resilience and a deep connection to nature. And for the parents, life may feel more intentional and less driven by schedules and screens.
Yet rural living carries trade-offs too. Older kids may need to be driven places—public transport is often sparse. Job opportunities and cultural offerings can be limited, and daily errands may require a car.
It’s clear that these layered pros and cons make the decision to buy outside the city versus rent inside it far more than a simple spreadsheet exercise. Ultimately, it’s about weighing the lifestyle you want both now and in the years to come.
If you don’t mind the cold, perhaps you dream of a home in some Scandinavian country, surrounded by stunning scenery? Source: StefanoZaccaria on iStock.
Parenting and Lifestyle Choices Once You Reach Financial Independence
A question I keep circling back to is what happens once we reach FI? My partner’s job is stable now, but it’s becoming increasingly clear that she likely doesn’t want to stay in it forever. Financial Independence isn’t just about quitting work—but having the choice to pivot. If we both were to crave a slower lifestyle and didn’t need our jobs, why not then try the move to the countryside?
Children adapt far better than we sometimes fear. Ultimately, what matters most for their well-being is consistent love, time, and emotional support from their parents. Whether it’s in a bustling city or a quiet village, kids thrive when their environment is stable and nurturing. A move after FI, planned and communicated well, could be an enriching family adventure rather than a disruption.
For families on the path to FIRE, this flexibility to move later can be part of a long-term plan. So while career disruption may be a strong disadvantage today, in a few years time it might not be. After reaching FI, these lifestyle questions and housing preferences may look different than they do today—especially if everyone around us indeed continues to leave our neighborhood to buy a house somewhere else!
But in the meantime, what can we do about this feeling of FOMO? Below are 10 different ideas to help overcome it—the idea is to make life decisions based on rational preferences, not jump on what others are doing out of fear.
* Further Reading – Article continues below *
10 Practical Ways to Overcome House-Buying FOMO
Below are ten practical ways to quiet the urge to “buy because everyone else is buying”. Some of these are financial checks, while others are mindset shifts. Together they help keep me grounded when FOMO hits.
1. Run your own 5% rule numbers
Divide your annual renting costs by 0.05. Are property prices much higher than that value for a comparable home where you live? Chances are renting is the better financial decision—at least in many major cities in Europe. You’re definitely not throwing away money just because you are renting.
2. Track your net worth
People like to say that renting is throwing away money, but seeing your portfolio grow over time should reinforce the idea that wealth creation doesn’t need to be tied to bricks and mortar. Slow, consistent investing is the simplest path to wealth.
3. Estimate the “delay to Financial Independence”
Use our FI calculator—free for our email newsletter subscribers—and model how many extra years of work would a house purchase add to your Financial Independence timeline. In my “dream farmhouse” scenario, it was four to five years, but it could be much longer if you’re considering buying in the city. Understanding this relationship can highlight a powerful perspective.
4. Recognize the lock-in effect
If you are renting, you are also less limited career-wise for pivots and in terms of geographic flexibility. Of course, if you own a house you can sell it, but in practice it represents a much larger hurdle to relocating. Naming this hidden cost helps you value the freedom that renting gives you.
5. Understand other people’s motivations and financial literacy
Most people don’t invest consistently; for them buying a home represents their main “forced-savings plan”. It probably does make sense financially for them to buy to force some savings. But your situation may be very different to theirs. And, of course, for many families buying isn’t just about spreadsheets—it can be the lifestyle choice that makes them happiest even if the numbers don’t perfectly line up.
Perhaps you dream of something modern not too far from the city? Photo by Stephan Bechert on Unsplash.
6. Practice gratitude for your current setup
Go over the perks of renting. For us, it’s living in a mid-sized city we love, with access to rivers and lakes, lots of events, and the possibility of living a (mostly) car-free lifestyle. One of our weekly rituals is taking the kids to our Kleingartenverein plot—an allotment garden fifteen minutes by bike—where we grow vegetables and enjoy a private outdoor space. This reminds me we already have many of the perks of a house without the mortgage and other downsides.
7. Remind yourself you can buy later
As I mentioned earlier, I’m not opposed to buying, I just think the timing isn’t right yet. Assuming you are saving and investing, there is no reason you can’t delay a bit the home ownership decision. Of course, waiting carries the risk of rising home prices. But as long as your investment portfolio grows at a healthy long-term rate, the opportunity cost of locking money into a house often outweighs moderate property price growth.
8. Compare lifestyle costs, not just housing costs
Suburban or rural homes require a car and longer commutes. Factor in car ownership—at least €500 per month—and time.
9. Quantify non-financial stress
House maintenance surprises, renovation headaches, or rising property taxes are rarely captured in spreadsheets but can be very real.
10. Redefine success
Success is living your chosen life, not meeting cultural milestones set by others. Homeownership is optional, not mandatory. Remember that the best status signal of all is good health and the time-freedom granted by Financial Independence.
Perhaps you dream of retiring early abroad? Bali, Indonesia. Photo by Antonio Araujo on Unsplash.
Avoid Housing FOMO and Stay on Track to FIRE
The essence of Financial Independence is freedom of choice. By resisting the urge to buy now, we keep multiple doors open: buying a home later, renting indefinitely and staying flexible, or even relocating abroad. The working years you can save by not taking on a €800,000 mortgage can translate to more freedom. You can always choose to buy later on with the backing of a larger investment portfolio.
The real asset isn’t a house but flexibility itself. Your wealth is the time and options you preserve. FOMO loses its power once you see that freedom—not square footage—is the ultimate form of security, and that buying at the wrong time can lengthen your career and limit the work-life balance you prefer.
There are also other ways to gain exposure to real estate without buying a home at all. For investors who still want to participate in property markets while staying flexible, REITs (Real Estate Investment Trusts) can be an alternative worth exploring.
I think it’s natural to experience housing FOMO—especially when friends and family assume buying is the only responsible move. But with a clear FI strategy, the numbers, lifestyle tradeoffs, and long-term vision all point towards the same conclusion: renting today is a deliberate choice, not a failure.
For now, our “home” is the life we’re building, and we’re happy with our current setup. I can see us eventually buying, perhaps in the countryside or even abroad. Either way, it will be because it’s a decision that supports our values and lifestyle preferences, not because we rushed to keep up with others.
Almost everyone else is running around without a plan—working 40-plus years in unfulfilling careers. Perhaps the average person should not be your benchmark for making life decisions.
To be clear, I’m not against homeownership at all. In some markets the maths—after property taxes, maintenance, and the opportunity cost of tied-up capital—can still favour buying. And even where it doesn’t, choosing to own a home can absolutely be the right move for those who value the stability and lifestyle it provides.
💬 Have you experienced house ownership FOMO? How do you deal with it and what are your plans for the future? Please let us know in the comments below!
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🌿 Thanks for reading The Good Life Journey. I share weekly insights on money, purpose, and health, to help you build a life that compounds meaning over time. If this resonates, join readers from over 100 countries and subscribe to access our free FI tools and newsletter.
Enjoyed this post? Don’t miss our article on financially assessing our dream farmhouse and its impact on FI or my thoughts on incredibly cheap seaside properties in Denmark.
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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
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A simple way is to use the “5% rule,” which assumes 1% for property tax, 1% for maintenance, and 3% as the opportunity cost of tying up capital. You divide your annual rent by 0.05 to estimate the break-even purchase price. If homes cost far more than this, renting is usually more sensible, as the money saved can compound in investments instead of being tied up in property. For FIRE seekers, this comparison highlights how buying too early may extend your working years unnecessarily.
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Housing FOMO—fear of missing out—often peaks in your 30s because this is when many peers settle down, buy homes, and start families. Social pressure from friends, colleagues, and even parents or in-laws can make renting feel “less responsible.” In reality, housing markets differ wildly by region, and for many FIRE-minded individuals, renting is a deliberate choice to protect flexibility and accelerate Financial Independence. Understanding your own numbers and priorities is the best antidote to this pressure.
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The delay depends on local prices and your savings rate, but it can be several years. In my own “dream farmhouse” scenario, the numbers showed a four-to-five year setback compared to continuing to rent. In major European cities with €800,000–€1,000,000 homes, the delay could be even longer, potentially adding a decade of work. That’s why FIRE planners must weigh the emotional benefits of ownership against the concrete cost in extra years of employment.
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Not necessarily. While homeowners build equity, renters avoid property taxes, maintenance costs, and the risk of housing market downturns. More importantly, renters can invest the capital they don’t lock into a house—growing their wealth through diversified portfolios. For financially disciplined FIRE seekers, renting can be a smart strategy that accelerates independence while still providing lifestyle flexibility. The “rent is throwing money away” phrase ignores these hidden savings and growth opportunities.
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City life offers convenience, cultural exposure, and often better schooling and healthcare, but it also comes with higher stress levels, air pollution, and less private space. Countryside living, on the other hand, gives children access to nature, space to play, and a slower lifestyle that fosters resilience and hands-on learning. The trade-off is usually weaker public transport and more dependence on cars as kids grow older. Both environments can be great for children—what matters most is parental involvement, love, and stability.
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Absolutely. Many people choose to rent until they achieve financial independence, then reassess their lifestyle and housing needs. Once work is optional, the flexibility to move somewhere rural, abroad, or even downsize becomes much greater. Buying later with a larger portfolio can also reduce the risk of overextending yourself financially. This delay strategy allows you to preserve freedom and make a purchase decision that aligns with your long-term goals rather than short-term pressure.
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It helps to remember that most people buy homes not because it’s always the best financial decision, but because it’s a cultural milestone and a form of forced savings. As a FIRE seeker, you’re already taking a different path by investing consistently and building wealth more deliberately. Remind yourself of your own goals, track your net worth growth, and practice gratitude for the flexibility renting provides. Instead of competing with peers, focus on the freedom and options your plan gives you—freedom they may not enjoy despite owning property.
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